Let me continue a rant I posted earlier this Fall, entitled something about Cinderella's glass slipper.
To fill you in, I was responding to a quote on the back of my Starbucks cup from this guy saying that he moved to a big city, and he was lonely, then one day he realized that all he had to do was just say hi, and suddenly he'd be the life of the party. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny bit, but that's pretty basically what it said.
I responded by telling you a delightful little tale about me spotting what seemed to be my dream guy at Starbucks, and I looked at him, and I said "Hi" and he said "Hi" back and then that was the end of that. No budding romance. No friendship. Not even a second glance.
So then I went on to complain endlessly about how our society lives in lala land half the time, truly believing that a fairy tale is waiting around every corner for each person who is breathing.
I went on in my extreme pessimism to tell readers how stupid this ideology is.
I couldn't help but chuckle at my own misfortune.
So, I go to a bible study on Tuesday nights at my school that's led by Campus Crusade for Christ. I really like it. It's the high-light of my week most weeks, and I enjoy the fellowship I receive there.
One day, I was sitting outside my Speech classroom waiting for the prof to come open up the door, when I saw a guy who I recognized as being from Cru (Campus Crusade), and out of my good-naturedness (at least on THAT specific day, as you know if you stay up on my blog, that I am not ALWAYS good natured) I decided to say...yes...
"Hi"
He turned around, and greeted me, then asked me if I wanted to grab lunch after class. I couldn't, but we ended up going out the next Thursday. We went and got lunch, and it all seemed fine and dandy. He was easy to talk to, and funny. So we started dating...and I was about to write a retraction of that blog saying that sometimes, "Hi" really does work.
But it soon became very apparent that this guy, was a total and complete idiot. I seriously hope he doesn't read this. If you do, I'm sorry, but maybe you should try reading the dictionary more often.
Date number 1: We go and see Eagle Eye. Personally, I absolutely hate...let me repeat that...HATE HATE HATE it when a guy takes me to see a movie on a first date. What you are saying to me by doing that is this: I don't care about you. I don't want to get to know you by talking to you. All I want is a little bit of action...maybe some kissing, tongue, and if I get lucky a little bit of boob. But I don't care about YOU at all. Pretty much, I'd rather be in a dark theater with you.
But that is not all. Actually, nothing happens at all. He fails to put his arm around me or do anything despite my repeated shivering (pretending that I was cold) and inching towards him to give him the O.K. He also only buys one drink and expects me to share that with him. Are you kidding me? You've got to be kidding me. I don't want to drink your backwash. That's nasty.
So here's the kicker, on the way home, we're talking, and I made a reference to a book I read once, and he goes "So, you read a lot?" and I say "Yep. I love reading" or something like that, and he says "That's good. Yep. I'm pretty big on the sports magazines"
I pretty much did a double take. The sports magazines? That isn't reading dear.
Date number 2: He takes me out for coffee. Actually, this one wasn't too bad, except that he tells me all about his problematic sister and how he "looks out for her" like I'm supposed to instantaneously fall in love with him because he's a good big brother. I'm a good big sister in that I don't kick my brother in the nads every time I see him, but I don't expect guys to fall instantaneously in love with me because of that.
Date number 3: This is the date that pretty much had me ralphing up my lunch into my mouth. He takes me to the mall. For some reason, I thought that this was just a nice little outing to talk and stuff. It turns out that he wants me to help him pick out a shirt for work...I am not your mother. I don't want to help you pick out a shirt for work. So we go from store to store, and he keeps picking out these clothes (rather effeminate if you ask me...) and asks me my opinion on which color I like better - and then - get this - he tells me I should try on some boots. BOOTS.
Listen, it's not that I don't like boots, it's just that I don't really like being told what I should and shouldn't wear by a guy I've been on two dates with. And actually, this wasn't a big deal. We go to the next store, and he mentions it again. "You really should try on some boots"
So I'm like "Ok..." and we keep going. THEN...we go to the next store...and HE MENTIONS IT AGAIN. Does he have some weird boot fetish? Who knows. So I say "Nah..." and he goes "Yeah, it's what you like that counts"
Duh. Should I repeat that? DUUUHHH. You don't even have to verbalize that it's so obvious. Oh wait. Time out. You think I should wear boots? Oh yes oh sovereign emperor of my heart! Of course! Anything for you kind master! I will go out promptly and buy myself another pair of shoes that I don't need! Of course! Shall I bow down and kiss your feet now, or after I heed your wishes?
PA LEASE.
Here was the clincher. One day, after class, we're walking to the library together, and it's raining, and he says "Ah, it's raining. Today is the perfect day to curl up with a nice book"
Do you think I'm stupid? Do you not remember that you told me that you only read sports magazines? Or did you think I'd forget about that? You're an idiot. You wouldn't curl up with a "nice book" on a rainy day. So I pretty much sneered at him and told him that I felt that any day was a good day to read.
And then, to put the icing on the cake - on Friday night, I had to work - babysit pretty much, and he calls and wants to know if I want to go see a movie with him and his friends. I don't particularly want to, seeing as I'm a little martyr and I'd rather not have friends (see previous entry) but I have to work anyway, so I say I have to work. He's desperate. Bloody desperate. He asks me what time I'll be done, because I could come hang out after if I want to. I'm not going to be done (thankfully) until late. So I tell him that. I hang up the phone with him, and two minutes later, I get a text message from him asking me what time I usually put the kids to bed. I say she'll be in bed when I get there. Then he texts me back and says that he can bring a movie over after they go to bed and we can order a pizza.
What? Are you kidding?
1. The people I work for are freaking loaded and have camera's outside their house, so if I had a guy come over (which I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate) they would definitely find out.
2. Even if they didn't, and even if you weren't really irritating me, I would never ever do that. That's so unbelievably unprofessional. And for you to even suggest that is sick. What do you think is going to happen? How easy do you think I am? Making moves on me is not easy. You can ask anyone. I have this tendency to knee people in places where the sun doesn't shine if they piss me off enough, or make physical advances on me that I don't like. I don't know. I just do it. It's like a reflex or something.
My only question is why I actually thought this guy could have redeemable qualities. And I know those things don't seem like a big enough deal to constitute my breaking up with him, but you have to understand, I think I'm freaking Socrates. Remember? If not, go back a couple of entry's. I fully believe that I am some kind of a queen.
So, I will NOT be retracting that blog quite yet. I don't even know if you can retract a blog...officially. I'm not sure that it applies. Remember how I talked about being a wannabe child prodigy? I'm also a wannabe aspiring journalist. Yep. Never going to happen.
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