Life Laws According to Aubree

Ok, so I haven't blogged in here in a while. Mainly because it used to be my vice, my small dim light of hope that a guy might HAPPEN to read all about my sorry little life and fall madly in love with me...and what do ya' know, it worked. ;-)

Ok, so, being at the age, and being in attendance at a Christian university, where everyone on the face of the PLANET is getting married, and then some, I have a few little pet peeves. And since this blog is OBVIOUSLY for typing out my pet peeves in the middle of the night when I have nothing better to do, I'd like to share them here, for your personal enjoyment, even though no one reads this anyway.

AUBREE'S GUIDELINES TO DATING AND ENGAGEMENT:

1. It seems to me, that a couple, after making their relationship Facebook official, must serve a certain amount of time under some sort of pending parole or something...like, there's a certain amount of time a couple must serve before they are allowed to move up to the next step of getting engaged. Like, this whole "OMG LET'S DATE FOR FOUR MONTHS AND THEN I GET THE BLINNNGGGGGGG" thing does NOT cut it with me. If you started dating before I started dating my boyfriend, you're not allowed to get engaged. Period.

2. If you INSIST on getting engaged before me, then DO NOT text me at 2 IN THE MORNING, waking me up to tell me all the details about your engagement, especially if I only talk to you like, once a year. I don't really care. Like at all.

3. If you DO get engaged, it is acceptable to post ONE picture of your ring on Facebook, not FIFTY with FIFTY different angles and crap. I don't care about your ring. I don't care how BEAUTIFUL it is, or how GOOD OF A JOB HE DID. One picture is enough. I can appreciate one picture. I'm not a bitter angry old hag. But fifty is freaking obnoxious.

4. One last thing, you don't have to post every step of your wedding planning progress on Facebook either. I don't really want to know that you're going dress shopping for the fifth time this week. When you find a dress, then post it, but being obnoxious like that shows how ridiculously immature you are and that you need to take a chill pill and maybe like, put the wedding on hold for a while.

Ok, so I'm not an expert on relationships or anything, but I have been around the block like once or something like that, so please just take a chill pill. I know it's wedding season, but REALLY.