Social Justice/Worship...

So, right now I'm researching to write a pretty substantial research paper about social justice and how it is completely necessary when it comes to worshiping God. To tell you a little bit about how excited I am about this paper, I wrote an annotated bibliography on it the other day. My bibliography includes 8 sources from where I am only starting from...and is three pages long. But for the time being, I thought it would be fun to blog about my thoughts a little as I'm preparing to write this paper.

I'm not one to shy from hard questions. I tend to be the person who says uncomfortable things in inappropriate situations. I once asked what an aphrodisiac (thank goodness for spell check!) was in the home of a missionary in the Philippines in front of their small children. While this is not the most excellent example of my tendency to be forward, it illustrates my point. I don't like to adhere to social norms when it comes to asking questions about death, salary, or religion. Politics on the other hand, I will shy away from. And a warning, I recently discovered that if you tell me the bible is false, you should probably sit down because I'm going to give you an earful. I live in a dormitory of all freshman girls, and as the good student leader that I am, I thoroughly enjoy walking up to groups of serious girls looking like they are having a serious conversation, and ask them what's going on. I don't shy away from asking "Who are you talking about?" and "When you say, 'a boy', what boy is that?" or even "when you say 'inappropriate things', what do you mean, be specific" because I seriously believe that people need to get the heck out of their comfort zones and start talking. I believe this is the beginning to solving the many social crisis that are taking place in the world right now. This is true, especially in the church. I feel like the church is the most guilty when it comes to sticking their head in a hole and running away when crisis is mentioned. The church is the first to send summer missions teams to New Orleans, Haiti, and Sri Lanka, however, what is the church doing to aid global hunger? To the unfairness of the world food system? How about human trafficking? What about homelessness and poverty? How about the thousands and millions of people who are sick and dying and can't get help because they don't have medical insurance? Here's a good one - how about domestic violence? Does the church know that in some cultures, it is the norm for husbands to beat the crap out of their wives, causing them to miscarry babies, have serious health ailments, and in many many many cases, die? Are we too comfortable running kids camps and building roofs for Habitat for Humanity (which are all very valuable things, by the way, I'm not bashing them)? What if we spent our Wednesday night bible study nights informing people, just for a month, about human trafficking? Yeah, people would cry. People would be disturbed - but that's the thing - people SHOULD be disturbed by human trafficking. People SHOULD be disturbed that babies are dying of hunger all over the world, and eating mud patties to satisfy their hunger when they are not. People SHOULD be disturbed that the government represses the aid of the poor in certain countries, and so some people never have medical care, never see doctors, and never get better...from things like common colds. Is it wrong? Heck yeah, it's wrong.

But what does this have to do with worship?

It has everything to do with it.

Isn't the definition of worship surrendering our entire selves to Christ in praise and honor to Him? When we worship, do we not call to beckon the heart of God? And if we are not appealing to the heart of God, how do we expect our worship to be pleasing to His ear?
God's heart, time and time again in the bible, is close to the weary, to the poor, to the broken, to the homeless, to the hungry, to the hurting, to the violated, to the cheated, to the oppressed. So here's my question: Where are our hearts?
We cannot worship God on Sunday, and ignore the hurting on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It doesn't work like that. I can raise my hands as high as I want on Sunday, but if my hands aren't extended out to the poor and needy, God's people, the rest of the week, how the heck do I expect God to hear my cries?

In Amos 5, God says do away with your shouts of praise and joyous dancing...but let justice role down like a river. Who is in need of justice? Open your eyes. It's right outside your back door. Ask the hard questions. Stop passing out tracks and start passing out love...maybe people will actually listen.

Life Laws According to Aubree

Ok, so I haven't blogged in here in a while. Mainly because it used to be my vice, my small dim light of hope that a guy might HAPPEN to read all about my sorry little life and fall madly in love with me...and what do ya' know, it worked. ;-)

Ok, so, being at the age, and being in attendance at a Christian university, where everyone on the face of the PLANET is getting married, and then some, I have a few little pet peeves. And since this blog is OBVIOUSLY for typing out my pet peeves in the middle of the night when I have nothing better to do, I'd like to share them here, for your personal enjoyment, even though no one reads this anyway.

AUBREE'S GUIDELINES TO DATING AND ENGAGEMENT:

1. It seems to me, that a couple, after making their relationship Facebook official, must serve a certain amount of time under some sort of pending parole or something...like, there's a certain amount of time a couple must serve before they are allowed to move up to the next step of getting engaged. Like, this whole "OMG LET'S DATE FOR FOUR MONTHS AND THEN I GET THE BLINNNGGGGGGG" thing does NOT cut it with me. If you started dating before I started dating my boyfriend, you're not allowed to get engaged. Period.

2. If you INSIST on getting engaged before me, then DO NOT text me at 2 IN THE MORNING, waking me up to tell me all the details about your engagement, especially if I only talk to you like, once a year. I don't really care. Like at all.

3. If you DO get engaged, it is acceptable to post ONE picture of your ring on Facebook, not FIFTY with FIFTY different angles and crap. I don't care about your ring. I don't care how BEAUTIFUL it is, or how GOOD OF A JOB HE DID. One picture is enough. I can appreciate one picture. I'm not a bitter angry old hag. But fifty is freaking obnoxious.

4. One last thing, you don't have to post every step of your wedding planning progress on Facebook either. I don't really want to know that you're going dress shopping for the fifth time this week. When you find a dress, then post it, but being obnoxious like that shows how ridiculously immature you are and that you need to take a chill pill and maybe like, put the wedding on hold for a while.

Ok, so I'm not an expert on relationships or anything, but I have been around the block like once or something like that, so please just take a chill pill. I know it's wedding season, but REALLY.

Things I've Learned To Love - Judson Edition

My life has changed a lot in the last year. I've gone from a single, community college attending, kindergarten teaching girl who was just waiting on God while in kind of a transition area of my life. A year ago tonight, I would have been writing this from my Mom's basement sofa. Now, I am laying on my very own sofa (or futon...) which I bought off Craig's list and split the cost with my roommate, in my dorm room, typing this as a listen to people down the hall watching Veggie Tales.

One of the things I've learned in the last year is how to be happy, not because the situations in my life make me happy, but rather because I choose to be happy about the situations in my life. Being at COD, while all my other friend's were off pursuing a new, independent life at a university was actually really hard. I felt lonely a lot, and often times felt like the only people who really cared about me (besides my mom and bestie) were the 20 kids I taught in an after school kindergarten program at the YMCA (not that this is a terrible thing :) ) Anyway, to say the least, after waiting a year on God, struggling, praying, and mainly learning to be content, God has really blessed me. My life is pretty darn good right now...however, about this time last year I spent some time in my blog writing about the things that I love...they were pretty generic things, the little things I learned to love. I guess what I'm saying is that I never want to stop being thankful for the things that I have, so, just as a little reminder to myself, here is Things I've Learned to Love - Judson Edition.

1.) Standing over the Volkman bridge with the cutest guy in the world, watching the massive carp swim in Tyler Creek.
2.) Seeing every other person on campus walking shoeless in the middle of 40 degree rainy march, for Tom's Day Without Shoes to remember to raise awareness for the numerous impoverished countries who's children walk shoe-less every single day, and knowing, one hundred percent with-out a doubt, that I am in the right place.
3.) Sunsets over Wilson Hall.
4.) Exploring, finding secret passage ways, and fun hiding places all over campus. They really are there.
5.) Crazy dance parties in the stairwells of Ohio Hall at 3AM with the best friends a girl could ask for.
6.) Heart-to-hearts in the car on the way to a beautiful mansion with an organ inside of it.
7.) Learning to love on long car rides.
8.) Taking unplanned adventures, and discovering new places. :)
9.) Kidnapping friends at midnight and driving to Dunka (Dunkin Donuts).
10.) Amazing God moments.
11.) Living in a community of women who I know at any moment will hold me up and encourage me when I'm at my lowest, and rejoice with me when I'm on top of the world, and will make sure to keep me in check.
12.) Being EXCITED about my classes, and eating lunch with my teachers, who know me by my first name.
13.) Speaking of which, having teachers who know me by my first name, and about 3 other nick names they like to yell down the hallway in the Fine Arts Center.
14.) Getting care packages, and waiting for that once a week lunch date with my mom.
15.) Knowing that I belong.
16.) Knowing that I've waited, and dreamed, and longed, and held out for God's answer, knowing that after so long, I'm living in that answer.

I don't know much, but I do know that I must decrease, and He must increase. I know that Christ is my life, my entire being. I know that I am the dirt, and He is the gardener, and He is planting in me seeds of LIFE. I know that He is the sun, and the water, and oxygen that give me life and grow me each and every day.

I know I am filled to be emptied again.

God is good. :)

Who knows what I will be thankful for a year from now?

It's tradition

I'm making a move toward the marathon. The fulllll marathon. I know I've been slightly obnoxious in the past when it comes to running posts buuuuttttt now I think I've got this under control. I just want to make a few short comments when it comes to the very start of my marathon training.

1. Now that I live in Elgin most of the time, I have realized that I've really taken for granted the wonderful sense of security I have in running in the Dupage County suburbs. I never, ever worry about getting kidnapped/clubbed over the head/raped while running alone. I go for runs at 9 o' clock at night, and as long as I stay in semi populated area's, and bring my cell phone, I'm pretty safe. My school, where I live, is kind of right down the street from gang territory, and we, meaning the XC team, are no longer allowed (the girls anyway) to run on the bike path near school, as there was a man clubbing and dragging women runners off into his van toward the end of Fall semester. ;-/ I cherish weekends when I'm at home to run.

2. From my long run yesterday I've learned that running 7 miles without eating any sort of breakfast at all = negative splits on an out and back route because my tummy is grumbly.

3. Winter running is not the same as winter walking. I do not need 40 layers of clothing to stay warm.

4. an hour and a half of kickboxing/abs of steel +100 crunches + 7 miles of running + an hour of ice skating = a very sore girl the next morning.

Our story is like a melody

Our story is like a silent melody which unfolds over time and transforms the hearts it is notated upon. The frequencies involved cannot be heard by human ears, and cannot be understood by human perception. It is why only we hear…only we who are lovers of life, who soar above the clouds and make our mark on the world by the silent, knowing smile we wear each and every day. The smile which knows we have the other, unknowingly, somewhere, waiting for the one which is missing. Waiting for the moment when dreams, thoughts, notions, songs, become reality. Waiting for the one, breathless minute in time which hovers over our very existence. We, we who now see and hear and speak were once blind, deaf, and mute in our fear.
I never knew, but you were the one I spoke of. It’s completely clear to me now. You were the one who flooded my dreams, and swept me up into existence, silently bending and breaking me, constantly changing and molding me. How could I not know? How could I not see your eyes? They were always there, watching me. And when your lips embraced mine? Caressing them, sweeping across them, tenderly, silently, movingly, not even then did I understand. Yet you were woven into my tapestry, the color which stood out against the rest. When I was torn, you remained. Though the world shook me, you stood still.

A few wonderful and hopeful things about this upcoming semester...

1. NO fitday OR stupid church visits OR service hours
2. NO curfew (At all..ever!)
3. NO more English. :)
4. Still running, but running with a purer purpose (my first marathon! On May 16th!)
5. My last class on Fridays ends at 12:50...yes.
6. No concert reports...unless Dr. V makes us do them in Theory again.
7. One giant leap closer to starting classes directly related to my major...next Fall!
8. My LAST semester of music theory. :)
9. April 30th is our last day for the semester...what is that...like...2 weeks earlier than the rest of the college world? 3 for some? 4 for even others? Yessss. :)

Some things I've learned from last semester:

1. Get the stupid stuff out of the way first.
2. Ask billions of questions
3. Suck up. Suck up. Suck up. Suck up.
4. Most of the projects assigned can be completely BS'd if done in the right way.

Some things about this semester I will not enjoy:

1. Zoology at 8AM
2. 4 hours a week in choir
3. Bad food


Anyway, since the good outweighs the bad by a lot, I think it's safe to say that Judson will be nice to me this semester.

:)

You sit across the room. Face down, eyes focused, one hand rested on your chin. There’s a thousand, no, a million things I wish I could cross the room and whisper in your ear right now. I can’t move, and there’s nothing I can say. I stare and it’s alright because you know me. I’m allowed staring rights. The music, our music is playing over the speakers and it’s beautiful, and you’re beautiful and it’s all I can do but smile at the way you furrow your brow, at how concentrated you are and how deliberate your face looks at this very moment in time. Your hair is messy, and you haven’t shaved in about a week but I secretly love this, even if I wouldn’t tell you if my life depended on it. I love the way you look, the way you sound, the way you smell. You glance up, curiously, eyebrows raised, as if you’re making sure I’m still there, still sitting a few feet away from you. You catch my eyes with yours, and you smirk. “Hi” you say. I smile back because it’s all I can ever do when you smile at me in that funny way you smile. “Hi” I respond back. Your eyes search mine and I search yours back. “Come here” you say, so I do. I nestle into the crook of your arm and burry my face into your shoulder. “You’re beautiful” you whisper into my ear, and warmth spreads across my whole body. You turn your attention to your computer screen again, still holding me close and I know with full confidence that I could stay here forever, in the crook of your arm, taking in the moment, breathing in the scent, memorizing every detail of you, and this room, and this house, and all the things I’ve come to like or love or miss or whatever it is I feel but aren’t sure about. The minutes on the clock tick off, one by one, closer and closer to midnight, closer and closer to our good-byes. It’s 11:15. “I have to go” I say regretfully. You look down at me, eyes a little broken. “Wait.” You say, then you stand up, and take my hand. You pull me in towards you, and position your hands in the small of my back. Music fills the room, and we begin to sway, as you hold me, and I cling to you. You look into my eyes, and it takes everything that I have inside of me not to cry, or scream, or laugh, or do something to express the millions of emotions that are running through me all at the same time, all in this same moment. You lift your hand to my face, place your fingers on my skin, glide them against the softness of my cheek, and I’m consumed by the way you look at me, and know me, and hear me even when I don’t speak…feel me, even when I don’t move. And then it’s just you and I, and it doesn’t matter that we’re awkwardly standing in the middle of your small bedroom, clutter on the floor, swaying two and fro…all that matters is that I’m yours and you’re mine. We stop for a second, and your hand engulfs mine, and they fit like puzzle pieces, and I can’t tell whose fingers are whose anymore. And it’s funny, because I don’t feel like the molecules of my body are shifting out of place like I’d expect them to. There are no fireworks tonight. There’s you, standing in front of me, me, standing in front of you. Neither of us speak because we don’t have to. It doesn’t even matter, because I know I’m home. You’re like searching all my life for something, something that I never knew I was searching for, and finally finding it. I knew in an instant. It’s you. It was always you.