Some More Confessions

• Until about six months ago, I thought Phil Harmonic was an actual famous person, who played the violin in the Chicago Symphonic Orchestra.
• I used to think that Filipinos spoke Spanish. I had a Filipino Journalism teacher in highschool, and one time she said something about how she only speaks in her native language for her grandmother, and I looked at her in confusion and said "Spanish!?" I believe I also asked her a question in Spanish. She looked completely disgusting by my stupidity and said "The Philippines are in Asia! We don't speak Spanish!"
  
• When I was a kid, my parents told me the story of Abraham and Isaac, and how God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son born of Sarah. At the last minute, God told Abraham to stop because Abraham had obeyed God. God gave Abraham a goat to sacrifice instead. I thought, for the majority of my life, until actually quite recently, that God was playing a practical joke on Abraham. In my head, I pictured God, in His booming Godly voice saying "PYYSSCCHH!!!! JUST KIDDING ABRAHAM!!!" I'd picture God rolling around up in heaven on the floor about to bust a gut He was laughing so hard. "Oh man Abe, I got you GOOD!" I could just hear Him say. I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I do kind of take pride in the fact that as I child I had such a personal idea of God.
• It took me a long time to figure out that the words to the Wedding March are not "Here comes the bride, all dressed and wide"
• Once while visiting a missionary's home in the Philippines, the topic of a certain Filipino food came up (balut, if you're wondering), and someone briefly mentioned, under hushed breath that many Filipinos considered it an aphrodesiac (sp?). Upon hearing that word, I asked, at the top of my lungs, in a missionaries home, in front of their small children "WHAT'S AN APHRODESIAC!!??". Yeah, they all got a chuckle (a rather horrified chuckle, for the record) out of that.
• When I was 8 years old I went on this game site Yahoo sponsored, and this guy invited me into a private game. I thought nothing of it, and accepted the invite. First he asked me what I was wearing, and then he said "Wanna cyber?". I was completely horrified. I typed "NO WAY!!!!" and signed off. I was convinced that I had accidently had sex and admitted it to my Sunday School teacher in tears, who couldn't contain her laughter as she retold the story to my parents.
  
• I learned what sex was waaayyy before the majority of the kids in the neighborhood did. It was like my little secret I kept tucked away to make myself feel better about being homeschooled. Well one day, I was playing barbies with my friend, when she started teasing me for being homeschooled. "You would never kiss a boy because you don't even know what kissing is since you're homeschooled". I don't know why this made me break, but it did. I took a Barbie and a Ken, and I stripped them of their clothes, threw them on top of each other and screamed "YEAH? WELL I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING!!!" she looked at me in unsurity. "Uh uh...yeah I do...Yeah!" she said "They're kissing with their clothes off!" "NO!" I screamed in reply "THEY'RE HAVING SEX!!! S E X SEX! WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN KISSING AND SOMEDAY WHEN I'M MARRIED I'M GOING TO HAVE SEX EVERY SINGLE DAY WHILE YOU'RE STILL KISSING SO THERE!" and stomped out of her house. I'm pretty sure she was scarred.
  

I think I'll leave you with that doosy