I'm pretty sure Christ said they'll know us by our love??

I've learned a lot about love in the last couple of years. Especially about how NOT to love someone.
Let me share a bit of that with you.
I started leading worship on the High School worship team at my church when I was a Sophomore. I started out really unsure of myself, and kind of hiding behind other people and letting other's lead for me. Then somewhere around the end of my Sophomore year, I got this ultra boost of confidence. I guess I just got tired of going with everyone else and never speaking up for myself. So, I started "Ruling with an iron fist"
I admit, I was controlling and I was bossy, and I'm suprised that no one just upped and quit, or even refused to play with me.
Then something huge happened in my life. When I was a Junior in High School, I went to the Willow Arts Conference at Willow Creek Community Church as I have since I was a Freshman.
The very first break out session I attended was taught by a woman who had twin girls. One was completely healthy, and the other had severe health problems, and a learning disorder.
It was amazing to listen to her story. One of the things she talked about, was before she had her daughters, she was so prideful, and it got to the point where she needed her pride broken.
And God sure broke it. She said that we can be the best singers, or musicians in the world, but if our heart isn't right with God in the process of being the best, then all we're doing is crashing symbols in His ears.
This pierced me. I sat there, feeling horrible in myself, because I realized that I really did feel that I was the best, and that people were lucky to be priviledged with my worship leading, including God. I completely broke down. We went into a time of worship, and I sobbed and sobbed and asked God to break me, and I'm pretty sure I was crying so hard I couldn't even squeek out a melody to the songs we were singing, but my heart, for the first time in a long time was finally in the right place.

I guess when I asked God to break me, I didn't realize how dangerous of a prayer that can be.
From the moment I prayed that, God started to tick off the things in my life that I was placing before Him. And by the end of that following December, I felt like I had nothing left, that I had completely lost everything that I loved.
The only thing I had left was God. And at first, I didn't want Him. I was angry and bitter that He would do that to me. At the same time, I knew I did it to myself. Eventually, I surrendered, and started to build my life up again, or rather, I let God build up life around Christ, and the Kingdom.
I started to see changes in the way I acted, and the way I treated other people. I started to see the Holy Spirit exhibit His fruit in my life. I was no longer as bossy, or full of anxiety. I had patience that I would never be able to pull out of myself before.
I knew it wasn't me. It couldn't be.

I call what I went through the Jonah factor. In the bible, we hear a story of a prophet named Jonah, and a city called Ninevah. Ninevah was a filthy, disobediant city full of unrepentant people and hard hearts, and they had been that way for a long time. So God called Jonah, who had always followed God to go to the Ninevites and tell them that if they didn't change their ways that minute, they would all die.
But Jonah wouldn't have any of that. I think Jonah wanted justice. He didn't care about the Ninevites. How could he love them? All they had ever done was make things worse for him, and sin against HIS God, when Jonah had always done the right thing, and always been a good guy, and always done what God had told him. I think he wanted God to just burn them all.
So Jonah decided he was going to run. He hopped on a boat heading to Tarshish, the complete opposite direction from Ninevah. Well, God wouldn't have any of that. God caused a great storm to come as the boat was enroute. The sailors knew that Jonah was a God fearing man. So they pleaded with Jonah "Pray to your God! Repent from whatever you've done to make him angry!"
Even still, even as Jonah faced the death of himself, and all the men on the boat, he still would not repent. Jonah jumped into the sea. I'm sure he probably thought he would die, but instead he was swallowed by a great fish. EVEN STILL, it took Jonah three days, before he finally realized that God wasn't going to give up on the Ninevites.
So he said he'd go.
He told the Ninevites God's message, they repented, and changed their minds.

But Jonah was angry. He went up on a hill over the city and pouted. God sent a tree to shade Jonah from the hot sun. Jonah found pleasure in the tree. Then God sent a worm to kill the tree. Jonah got angry. Jonah shouted at God "I am angry!" he said "I am angry enough to die!"
God said to Jonah "Jonah, why are you angry? You had no part in causing that plant to sprout up, and no part in killing it. It was never yours. It was always mine. What right do you have to be angry about the plant?"
Jonah didn't have a right to be angry about the plant, and he didn't have a right to be angry about Ninevah.

I call what I went through the Jonah factor, because I felt that I was better than everyone else. I would find out about stuff that the other members of the worship team, or kids in the youth group would do, and I would judge them, and if I had been in Jonah's place, I would've probably done the same thing. I would've rather died than have them repent. I wanted to see the people who weren't as "Good of a Christian" as me be punished.

What I didn't understand until I experienced it, is that all the while I was upset, I was so deeply entrenched in my own sin that I couldn't even see it. I didn't even understand that I was sinning.
That when someone screws up, it most certainly doesn't constitute them being exiled, and I didn't deserve God's favor or love any more than anyone else did. Yet, I still received it, and if I did, so did they.
It wasn't until I was broken to the point of ashes, that I could see that I needed to love people regardless of the fact that we didn't have the same morals or principles, or even beliefs, and that if I loved the conversion more than the convert, than I would be seriously wrong.
If I desired God's justice more than I desired to see God's mercy, then I believed something completely different about Jesus than what was true. If I wanted God to be more just than he was merciful, than I would be calling on him to judge me, too.

It makes me angry now, because I spend a large majority of my time working for a family who doesn't believe in Jesus. They haven't commited their lives to Him.
I love the boys I nanny for so much. I love them as if they are a part of me.
And in a way, I believe they are. And it makes me so angry to think about someone wanting justice served to them. It infuriates me to think that someone may not include them, or tell them they're going to Hell because they don't believe. Don't get me wrong, I want so badly for them to become Christians. I want them to share the brother and sisterhood with me that I share with the rest of Christ's family. I want this more than the people who exclude them, and more than the people who go out of their way to damn them to Hell. I want them to be saved.
But if they never ever get to that point, I will love them anyway.

I think sometimes as Christians, we get so caught up in the rules. At least I do, anyway. We believe we aren't supposed to do this, or do that, but we never question why, and we don't know how to answer those who question why we aren't supposed to. Instead, we just judge.
It is our first and foremost instinct to judge others.
We forget that Jesus tells us in Matthew to love one another. He tells us that this is how all men will know that we are His. If we love one another.
He also tells us that the greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself, and that the only thing that precedes this is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
He tells us that there is no greater love than they that gives up their lives for their friends.
He tells us to love our enemies, and to pray for those who persecute us.
In the early church, when something good happened, or God moved through the body, it's because we were motivated to let Him by love.

God embodied the essense of love when He sent His son, a part of Him to come to earth. He exemplified the greatest kind of love when He himself was tortured, ridiculed, and believed to be a liar, a hypocrite, and a heretic. He blew our worlds apart, and what our conception of love is went with it when He died on a cross for us.
And it was His power, His perfectness, and His love that conquered Hell, and death for us.

Our cup should be constantly over flowing with love. If we can't love others, then we don't understand Christ's love for us. If we aren't bursting with it, if it isn't pouring out of our entire lives, then we aren't living the life we're supposed to live.

We, as Christians, are called love. I believe that this covers it all. We are called to love the Lord, and then we are called to love everyone else. That's it.

So let's let ourselves be some consumed, so undoubtedbly filled, and on passionate for with love. Let's experience a love we've never felt, so that we can go forth, and completely blow people over with the kind of love that we know because we are Christians. Let's let the world know that we are His. Let's let them know it by our love.